One of the most often talked about subjects with congregation members is Baptism. It's an intruinging topic, and it delights me to know that people are thinking about it. I think it's so intriguing because of the mystery behind it all. You can't REALLY explain baptism.
It's kind of like trying to explain "art" as a concept. You can't know what art is...you simply have to...know.
Baptism does have a United Methodist explanation, and that is (in my own words), "Baptism is a means of grace. It is the ritual performed to dignify God's grace working on and within an individual, as God's grace comes before any action or choice that we make. This is true for infants or for adults, and is an acceptance by the congregation that this person is a child of God."
Does that tell you what baptism is? For some, yes, for some, no. It describes it as a ritual experience, it tells of God's grace, but how do you describe an internal action or feeling? How do you describe God's grace at work on an infant who can't tell you about it like an adult can? It's simply baptism, acceptance into God's grace.
Some people...have a problem with this conception of baptism. To some, baptism is the moment in which you are saved, your sins are washed away, because baptism is the choice you make, allowing God's grace to come to you. It is no longer a recognition of God's action, it is an invoking of God's action.
In both cases, God's grace is available to all, but in one, God acts first and you dignify that and accept it, and in the other case, you act first and God then rewards you. Like I said...it's a tricky subject, but fun.
I think baptism gives us a good look at the way God works in our lives. We know it's happening to us or another person (perhaps our kids), but we can't totally put words to it. We can try, but we know there will always be more.
So the next time you see a baptism, embrace the mystery and celebrate that God is so awesome and works so many wonders...that we can't explain all of them as well as we'd like to.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Heaven: Is it just therapy?
After a lively discussion this morning's Bible study focusing around the first 4 chapters of Romans, I realized how much of the conversation had centered around who and who doesn't get to heaven. This stemmed from Paul writing about God's wrath, judgment and righteousness in the first 3 chapters of Romans (yes, an uplifting start that gets better).
Interestingly enough, we got on the topic of heaven when someone asked "do we get judged now or later?"
We then sprung into talks about Haiti, 9/11 and other events that people have blamed on God, but the overwhelming consensus was that we are judged later, when we die and have the opportunity to experience heaven.
One person spoke of how comforting this feeling was, that they were going to heaven, that it was a weight off of their shoulders that they did not have to fear death.
Believe it or not, a lay person at Stonebridge UMC was right in line with statements made by Martin Luther, Paul, John Wesley and many of the great theologians from the past. They too were afraid of death and not being in the presence of God, and God's grace allowed them to be relieved and be at peace.
But is the promise of heaven just a therapeutic tool for us? Is it something to give us comfort when things are bad...that things will eventually get better? What is heaven?
Christianity is not the only faith that holds an idea of a "heaven", as Muslims for sure hold the idea of a paradise, and even Buddhists and Hindus have an idea of Nirvana or a spiritual essence that takes you out of materialism. Christians, however, have not always been consistent with their ideas of heaven...causing me to wonder if it is just therapy now or if it is true deliverance.
According to the Gospels, Jesus talks about preparing a place for us with The Father in heaven. Jesus, however, does not talk about streets paved with gold, sitting on clouds playing harps, or even a bodiless existence.
Paul, I do not believe, talks about heaven specifically, but does offer salvation through Christ. So saved from what and to what?
It is possible that heaven can be an extra-bodily existence after we die, in which we are in perfect union with God and at peace...and after that, no one can tell you what heaven is like. We can't even say that's for sure.
But the earliest Christians saw salvation as occuring within this world that they knew. Even Revelation, by many scholars, is about freedom in this world and making this world new. When resurrection of the body is talked about, Paul adamantly argues that our physical bodies and not just our souls are resurrected from the dead, and that we will walk with Christ on this earth.
Is it possible that heaven really is on Earth?
Maybe Belinda Carlisle was right...Let's make heaven a place on Earth.
I believe this takes heaven out of the realm of therapy, although I do enjoy the comfort of knowing my friends and family are in heaven when they die. However, reading scriptures, salvation and heaven are so much more than a retirement community. Heaven seems to be that state on Earth where we are in perfect union with Christ and His mission, and that can only happen when Christ returns and the faithful are resurrected (mentioned in Paul's letters).
But I don't think heaven is the end of the story. It's not the final comfort, but the beginning of an exciting journey where we experience what life with Christ is truly like. When we are so in tune with the will of God that there is no war, hate, violence, suffering, poverty. Where we are shaped perfectly by God.
Donald Miller writes, "The point of a story is never about the ending, remember. It's about your character getting molded in the hard work of the middle."
Maybe heaven is here and now, and in the beyond. Maybe it's both at the same time. The point is, that we'll never know what heaven is like, except that we'll be with God. But heaven is so much more than being reassured that we are special and that we are safe. Heaven is a call to transformation and a call to a life lived with God. Heaven is supposed to mold us here and later, so that in Christ's final victory we might be made perfect, not for a outer-wordly realm, but for Christ's reign on Earth.
Feel free to disagree. I don't know what heaven is, but I know I'm excited about it. But I tend to think that God likes this place, why else would he have created it? I tend to think Paul is right that our bodies are not just jailhouses for our souls. So if we're rethinking bodies, souls and the earth, perhaps heaven ought to be at the front of our minds as we transform these other things.
Interestingly enough, we got on the topic of heaven when someone asked "do we get judged now or later?"
We then sprung into talks about Haiti, 9/11 and other events that people have blamed on God, but the overwhelming consensus was that we are judged later, when we die and have the opportunity to experience heaven.
One person spoke of how comforting this feeling was, that they were going to heaven, that it was a weight off of their shoulders that they did not have to fear death.
Believe it or not, a lay person at Stonebridge UMC was right in line with statements made by Martin Luther, Paul, John Wesley and many of the great theologians from the past. They too were afraid of death and not being in the presence of God, and God's grace allowed them to be relieved and be at peace.
But is the promise of heaven just a therapeutic tool for us? Is it something to give us comfort when things are bad...that things will eventually get better? What is heaven?
Christianity is not the only faith that holds an idea of a "heaven", as Muslims for sure hold the idea of a paradise, and even Buddhists and Hindus have an idea of Nirvana or a spiritual essence that takes you out of materialism. Christians, however, have not always been consistent with their ideas of heaven...causing me to wonder if it is just therapy now or if it is true deliverance.
According to the Gospels, Jesus talks about preparing a place for us with The Father in heaven. Jesus, however, does not talk about streets paved with gold, sitting on clouds playing harps, or even a bodiless existence.
Paul, I do not believe, talks about heaven specifically, but does offer salvation through Christ. So saved from what and to what?
It is possible that heaven can be an extra-bodily existence after we die, in which we are in perfect union with God and at peace...and after that, no one can tell you what heaven is like. We can't even say that's for sure.
But the earliest Christians saw salvation as occuring within this world that they knew. Even Revelation, by many scholars, is about freedom in this world and making this world new. When resurrection of the body is talked about, Paul adamantly argues that our physical bodies and not just our souls are resurrected from the dead, and that we will walk with Christ on this earth.
Is it possible that heaven really is on Earth?
Maybe Belinda Carlisle was right...Let's make heaven a place on Earth.
I believe this takes heaven out of the realm of therapy, although I do enjoy the comfort of knowing my friends and family are in heaven when they die. However, reading scriptures, salvation and heaven are so much more than a retirement community. Heaven seems to be that state on Earth where we are in perfect union with Christ and His mission, and that can only happen when Christ returns and the faithful are resurrected (mentioned in Paul's letters).
But I don't think heaven is the end of the story. It's not the final comfort, but the beginning of an exciting journey where we experience what life with Christ is truly like. When we are so in tune with the will of God that there is no war, hate, violence, suffering, poverty. Where we are shaped perfectly by God.
Donald Miller writes, "The point of a story is never about the ending, remember. It's about your character getting molded in the hard work of the middle."
Maybe heaven is here and now, and in the beyond. Maybe it's both at the same time. The point is, that we'll never know what heaven is like, except that we'll be with God. But heaven is so much more than being reassured that we are special and that we are safe. Heaven is a call to transformation and a call to a life lived with God. Heaven is supposed to mold us here and later, so that in Christ's final victory we might be made perfect, not for a outer-wordly realm, but for Christ's reign on Earth.
Feel free to disagree. I don't know what heaven is, but I know I'm excited about it. But I tend to think that God likes this place, why else would he have created it? I tend to think Paul is right that our bodies are not just jailhouses for our souls. So if we're rethinking bodies, souls and the earth, perhaps heaven ought to be at the front of our minds as we transform these other things.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Stonebridge UMC's Response to Haiti
Hey Stonebridgers (or anyone else that reads this and wants to help),
For the next two Sundays (the 17th and the 24th of January) we will be asking for and collecting health kits and/or donations for health kits to send to Haiti and the thousands of victims of the earthquake there. We ask that you go over and above your normal giving to send hope and love to people who already had very little to begin with, and now their very health is at stake. As God has blessed us, let us bless others.
One of the great things about UMCOR, the United Methodist Committee on Relief is that all donations or goods donated go 100% to the people who need them. Local churches, like Stonebridge UMC, give money out of our budget to cover administrative costs, so that UMCOR can focus on rapidly and efficiently helping those that need help.
Below are three ways to help out:
1) Health kits.
Put the supplies listed below into a 1 gallon storage bag, seal it, and bring it to Stonebridge UMC or any other United Methodist Church. We will make sure it gets to the right place. All health kits need to be brought to the church by Sunday, January 31st.
1 hand towel (15" x 25" up to 17" x 27")
1 washcloth1 comb (large and sturdy, not pocket-sized)
1 nail file or fingernail clippers (no emery boards or toenail clippers)
1 bath-size bar of soap (3 oz. and up)
1 toothbrush (single brushes only in original wrapper, No child-size brushes)
1 large tube of toothpaste (4.5 oz. or larger, expiration date must be 6 months or longer in advance of the date of shipment to UMCOR Sager Brown)
6 adhesive plastic strip sterile bandages
Place these items inside a sealed one-gallon plastic bag.
Important: Please do not include any religious, political or patriotic notes or emblems in any kit. Thank you for your donations. You are helping to make a difference in people's lives.
2) Donate $15 towards a health kit. Checks can be made to Stonebridge UMC, with a memo line of "Haiti Relief". If you go to another UM Church, and tell them it's for Haiti relief. They will know to go through UMCOR.
3) Go to this website and give directly to UMCOR through the United Methodist Advance program:
http://secure.gbgm-umc.org/donations/umcor/donate.cfm?code=418325&id=3018760
Thanks for your commitment to the work of Christ. We know that Christ is the comforter, and the body of Christ is the hands and feet of Jesus.
Peace.
For the next two Sundays (the 17th and the 24th of January) we will be asking for and collecting health kits and/or donations for health kits to send to Haiti and the thousands of victims of the earthquake there. We ask that you go over and above your normal giving to send hope and love to people who already had very little to begin with, and now their very health is at stake. As God has blessed us, let us bless others.
One of the great things about UMCOR, the United Methodist Committee on Relief is that all donations or goods donated go 100% to the people who need them. Local churches, like Stonebridge UMC, give money out of our budget to cover administrative costs, so that UMCOR can focus on rapidly and efficiently helping those that need help.
Below are three ways to help out:
1) Health kits.
Put the supplies listed below into a 1 gallon storage bag, seal it, and bring it to Stonebridge UMC or any other United Methodist Church. We will make sure it gets to the right place. All health kits need to be brought to the church by Sunday, January 31st.
1 hand towel (15" x 25" up to 17" x 27")
1 washcloth1 comb (large and sturdy, not pocket-sized)
1 nail file or fingernail clippers (no emery boards or toenail clippers)
1 bath-size bar of soap (3 oz. and up)
1 toothbrush (single brushes only in original wrapper, No child-size brushes)
1 large tube of toothpaste (4.5 oz. or larger, expiration date must be 6 months or longer in advance of the date of shipment to UMCOR Sager Brown)
6 adhesive plastic strip sterile bandages
Place these items inside a sealed one-gallon plastic bag.
Important: Please do not include any religious, political or patriotic notes or emblems in any kit. Thank you for your donations. You are helping to make a difference in people's lives.
2) Donate $15 towards a health kit. Checks can be made to Stonebridge UMC, with a memo line of "Haiti Relief". If you go to another UM Church, and tell them it's for Haiti relief. They will know to go through UMCOR.
3) Go to this website and give directly to UMCOR through the United Methodist Advance program:
http://secure.gbgm-umc.org/donations/umcor/donate.cfm?code=418325&id=3018760
Thanks for your commitment to the work of Christ. We know that Christ is the comforter, and the body of Christ is the hands and feet of Jesus.
Peace.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Do You Believe in Miracles?
As part of my sermon series "Unbelievable", I've been realizing that one 12 minute sermon is in no way adequate enough to cover the topics that we're covering. After all, when you're trying to tackle the doctrines that people deem as unbelievable...it takes some argument and convincing. Plus, most of them are so multi-faceted that it's hard to cover all the questions. That being said, here is the supplementary blog if you are looking to dive into your faith, and not afraid to come out on the other side with more questions and more answers at the same time.
This week: Miracles of Jesus
I'm only covering the miracles of Jesus because Jesus is the one person in the Bible that uniquely is God incarnate. We established that we believe in the virgin birth and the incarnation last week, so I want to stick with the person of Jesus as God. The other miracles of the Old Testament and the apostles can more easily be written off as "speculation" or "perspective" than can the miracles of Jesus. Because, if the miracles of Jesus are proven to be unbelievable...then why believe in just an ordinary guy with good ideas? Are the miracles themselves not a proof of divine authority? So...can you believe in miracles?
The argument against:
The argument against and for miracles really comes down to one thing, your belief in the authenticity of scripture. Do you believe every word as sacred, or do you think people corrupted it as it was written? Do you think that God guided every thought, but gave the writers free will, or do you think the writers were simply trying to record a story with an intent behind that process? Whatever you choose, the miracles are going to take on a different meaning.
John Shelby Spong, known to be a demythologizing theologian (meaning that he takes the myth out of the story to find what he feels is the meat) claims that in the Jewish midrash (wisdom/commentary) tradition that all important events in the present must be venerated by great events in the past. This is like saying that all things we hold dear must be grounded in tradition and experience. Not absurd in the least bit. However, when taken in the context of Jesus, who was Jewish and lived in a Jewish world, and in the context of Jewish writers (Matthew, John, Paul) the idea prooves dangerous to those who hold every word as literal. What Spong means is that the parting of the waters of the Jordan River when Jesus is baptized are related to the myth/story of the parting of the Red Sea that was so dear to the identity of Israel's formation as a nation. The miracle of the feeding of the 5,000 that were no where near a market or their homes relates back to the miraculous feeding of the Hebrews in the wilderness by God. If I read this as a non-believer I would say that they made this up about Jesus to give him power. From a believer's perspective it means to me that Spong thinks maybe this stuff didn't actually happen, but there was something about Jesus that was special enough that the writers had to venerate him with history. So the miracles would then just be a literary technique to prove a point.
The other opposing argument would be, "what have you shown me lately?" Miracle healings are not exactly a dime a dozen these days, at least not by someone spitting in the mud and putting it on someone's eyes or touching someone. There are denominations that believe strongly in laying on of hands, annointing with oil or praying over someone...but they are not always successful. So why, when we are told we have the power, do we not have the power?
Some say that the person needing healing doesn't have enough faith, which is probably true, but dangerous to say when a drug dealer is shot and miraculously lives because the bullet hit his fat stack of cash. Others would say that God needs others more than the ones that die...which might be true, but I'd like to think that the child who dies in child birth did not get killed by God to serve as a momentary function or lesson for the grieving parents and doctors.
So the question remains..."why isn't the power of Jesus present today in healings and walking on water and stuff?"
The argument for miracles:
First of all, the argument for miracles goes to the same thing that Spong says...perspective. Millions of people over the centuries have claimed miraculous things to have happened, only about an eigth of which are bodily healings. They think they see Jesus in a Cheeto (and subsequently auction it on ebay) or the virgin Mary in an oil stain on a wall. Others claim to have talked to a stranger that led them to another place, only to never ever see the stranger again, but in the other place find a way to help another family or to find healing themselves. Others claim to sense God's presence as their plane was going down or in other accidents and realize that God caused them to be safe.
All of these are miracles in the eye of the beholder, it is usually sceptics that do not agree.
The biggest issue, if we're going to make a case for miracles, is why some people experience them and others do not.
1st answer :: We don't know. No matter who claims to know what God's will is, no one really knows. It's the mystery we have to live with. Although, I would claim that I do not believe that God's will is for some people to suffer at God's hands, in order that they or others would learn. It doesn't match up with the God of love everyone talks about, or else that lesson REALLY needs to be learned. However, despite me saying this...I don't know how God thinks ultimately.
2nd answer :: we need to redefine miracles.
This can include the spectacular of "the car just stopped without me pushing the brake right before I got hit by a train", but I feel that miracles need to be looked at for what the definition is, "an extraordinary event that manifests divine intervention in the world." By this definition miracles can be as small as a calling by God towards a certain school or job, or as large as a miraculous healing of cancer.
This is the best argument I have heard about the existence of miracles, to redefine our expectation of miracles, because so often we miss God's intervention in our lives while we look for what we want to see. I can completely understand why someone would want the result to be the cancer to go away, but sometimes the miracle is the reconciliation that happens between people when one is dying and life gains a whole new perspective. Sometimes the miraculous scene of a car crash, when someone claims that "God was watching over them" truly might have been a miracle...but not that no one was hurt. If God was watching over them, then heaven is an attractive offer. But the miracle might just be the transformation that occurs after that. If we're honest with ourselves...it might have been dumb luck that you walked away. But it is no accident that you believe God was involved and your life changes after that. God often shows up in the accident, not before it. God doesn't cause them...God heals them...and often not in the way we want, but in the way he wants.
I believe that life in a whole sense is more important to God than life in a biological sense, and ought to be for Christians too. It is said by Jesus that someone who gives their life for a friend is the greatest, and that is a physical giving, but there is something behind there I believe that dedicating one's life, allowing your whole person to be in line with one cause is the greatest. Sacrificing makes one the greatest.
Obviously God thinks organs and blood and life is important, and as Christians, I don't think bodily resurrection would be important to us if we didn't think God thought this was important too. However, would God want a bunch of people who are alive...or would God want a bunch of people who are living life to the fullest? I think the latter. Miracles I believe are ways in which God directs us and intervenes in our lives to guide us towards a more full life, which includes reconciliation, compassion, kindness, generosity, prayer and relationship. Many times the blood may go out of us and we don't get the healing we look for, but we take the time to love the dying person or the people around us as we are dying and we get the healing that we need. We revert back to the image of God that we were intended to be. And that is miraculous.
This week: Miracles of Jesus
I'm only covering the miracles of Jesus because Jesus is the one person in the Bible that uniquely is God incarnate. We established that we believe in the virgin birth and the incarnation last week, so I want to stick with the person of Jesus as God. The other miracles of the Old Testament and the apostles can more easily be written off as "speculation" or "perspective" than can the miracles of Jesus. Because, if the miracles of Jesus are proven to be unbelievable...then why believe in just an ordinary guy with good ideas? Are the miracles themselves not a proof of divine authority? So...can you believe in miracles?
The argument against:
The argument against and for miracles really comes down to one thing, your belief in the authenticity of scripture. Do you believe every word as sacred, or do you think people corrupted it as it was written? Do you think that God guided every thought, but gave the writers free will, or do you think the writers were simply trying to record a story with an intent behind that process? Whatever you choose, the miracles are going to take on a different meaning.
John Shelby Spong, known to be a demythologizing theologian (meaning that he takes the myth out of the story to find what he feels is the meat) claims that in the Jewish midrash (wisdom/commentary) tradition that all important events in the present must be venerated by great events in the past. This is like saying that all things we hold dear must be grounded in tradition and experience. Not absurd in the least bit. However, when taken in the context of Jesus, who was Jewish and lived in a Jewish world, and in the context of Jewish writers (Matthew, John, Paul) the idea prooves dangerous to those who hold every word as literal. What Spong means is that the parting of the waters of the Jordan River when Jesus is baptized are related to the myth/story of the parting of the Red Sea that was so dear to the identity of Israel's formation as a nation. The miracle of the feeding of the 5,000 that were no where near a market or their homes relates back to the miraculous feeding of the Hebrews in the wilderness by God. If I read this as a non-believer I would say that they made this up about Jesus to give him power. From a believer's perspective it means to me that Spong thinks maybe this stuff didn't actually happen, but there was something about Jesus that was special enough that the writers had to venerate him with history. So the miracles would then just be a literary technique to prove a point.
The other opposing argument would be, "what have you shown me lately?" Miracle healings are not exactly a dime a dozen these days, at least not by someone spitting in the mud and putting it on someone's eyes or touching someone. There are denominations that believe strongly in laying on of hands, annointing with oil or praying over someone...but they are not always successful. So why, when we are told we have the power, do we not have the power?
Some say that the person needing healing doesn't have enough faith, which is probably true, but dangerous to say when a drug dealer is shot and miraculously lives because the bullet hit his fat stack of cash. Others would say that God needs others more than the ones that die...which might be true, but I'd like to think that the child who dies in child birth did not get killed by God to serve as a momentary function or lesson for the grieving parents and doctors.
So the question remains..."why isn't the power of Jesus present today in healings and walking on water and stuff?"
The argument for miracles:
First of all, the argument for miracles goes to the same thing that Spong says...perspective. Millions of people over the centuries have claimed miraculous things to have happened, only about an eigth of which are bodily healings. They think they see Jesus in a Cheeto (and subsequently auction it on ebay) or the virgin Mary in an oil stain on a wall. Others claim to have talked to a stranger that led them to another place, only to never ever see the stranger again, but in the other place find a way to help another family or to find healing themselves. Others claim to sense God's presence as their plane was going down or in other accidents and realize that God caused them to be safe.
All of these are miracles in the eye of the beholder, it is usually sceptics that do not agree.
The biggest issue, if we're going to make a case for miracles, is why some people experience them and others do not.
1st answer :: We don't know. No matter who claims to know what God's will is, no one really knows. It's the mystery we have to live with. Although, I would claim that I do not believe that God's will is for some people to suffer at God's hands, in order that they or others would learn. It doesn't match up with the God of love everyone talks about, or else that lesson REALLY needs to be learned. However, despite me saying this...I don't know how God thinks ultimately.
2nd answer :: we need to redefine miracles.
This can include the spectacular of "the car just stopped without me pushing the brake right before I got hit by a train", but I feel that miracles need to be looked at for what the definition is, "an extraordinary event that manifests divine intervention in the world." By this definition miracles can be as small as a calling by God towards a certain school or job, or as large as a miraculous healing of cancer.
This is the best argument I have heard about the existence of miracles, to redefine our expectation of miracles, because so often we miss God's intervention in our lives while we look for what we want to see. I can completely understand why someone would want the result to be the cancer to go away, but sometimes the miracle is the reconciliation that happens between people when one is dying and life gains a whole new perspective. Sometimes the miraculous scene of a car crash, when someone claims that "God was watching over them" truly might have been a miracle...but not that no one was hurt. If God was watching over them, then heaven is an attractive offer. But the miracle might just be the transformation that occurs after that. If we're honest with ourselves...it might have been dumb luck that you walked away. But it is no accident that you believe God was involved and your life changes after that. God often shows up in the accident, not before it. God doesn't cause them...God heals them...and often not in the way we want, but in the way he wants.
I believe that life in a whole sense is more important to God than life in a biological sense, and ought to be for Christians too. It is said by Jesus that someone who gives their life for a friend is the greatest, and that is a physical giving, but there is something behind there I believe that dedicating one's life, allowing your whole person to be in line with one cause is the greatest. Sacrificing makes one the greatest.
Obviously God thinks organs and blood and life is important, and as Christians, I don't think bodily resurrection would be important to us if we didn't think God thought this was important too. However, would God want a bunch of people who are alive...or would God want a bunch of people who are living life to the fullest? I think the latter. Miracles I believe are ways in which God directs us and intervenes in our lives to guide us towards a more full life, which includes reconciliation, compassion, kindness, generosity, prayer and relationship. Many times the blood may go out of us and we don't get the healing we look for, but we take the time to love the dying person or the people around us as we are dying and we get the healing that we need. We revert back to the image of God that we were intended to be. And that is miraculous.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Proverbs 5:1-2: Reflections on the word "poop"
Today was a milestone in the life of my daughter. My wife called me from home and let me know that when she asked my daughter if she was working on a poop, my daughter coyly smiled up at her and said, "poop."
Now, I'm sure it was just a mimicking of noises, as she has been actively trying to do that lately, and at 6 months I'm impressed she's doing that at all! It's also really cute to hear a 6 month old talk about anything, even poop!
As I was sharing this great joy and laughter with the staff at my church, we were in an uproar about the whole situation. One person, however, commented, "yeah...my 4 year old won't stop talking about poop, won't stop calling people poopies...and in general just loves the word poop."
"My child, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, so that you may hold on to prudence, and your lips may guard knowldge." - Proverbs 5:1-2.
To be honest, it was kind of a buzzkill, although I still think it's awesome that my 6 month old can say "poop", but it got me thinking about our kids maturing and growing up. How much of what we don't want our kids to do, do they really learn from us? How many of the words they say, that we wish they wouldn't, slip out of our lips? And the really tough question, is even if they don't hear it, how many words do we say in private that we don't want them to say at all?
I remember growing up and playing sock baseball with my dad, and I don't know why, but I said the word "fart". Now, most dads would be proud of me or not care, but I remember my dad telling me that we don't use that word. So, as a kid who loved his parents, I didn't say it. It became one of those words that wasn't acceptable to say.
Is there harm in the words "fart" or "poop"? No, they are slang words for bodily functions that are natural and help our body maintain health. The reason we don't use them in public is because in Western society it is unacceptable to talk about bodiliy functions...as though not everyone did them.
But what words do we want to teach our kids to stay away from? Is "poop" your worst fear? If you condemn the word "poop" will you have trouble with potty training?
What about the word "kill" or "hate"? I know "hate" is usually one that parents try and stear away from, but it's hard when mom and dad are watching a football game with some friends and casually say, "I just hate the Washington Redskins." Do you really hate them? No. Does your kid really hate the person they say it, mimicing you? No. Does the other person know that. No.
The way the world is now, I still laugh at a 6 month old saying poop and I'm not too concerned if she keeps saying it in public. But I would be worried about my own actions and attitudes if she started using words like "hate", "kill", "steal", "useless".
Perhaps as we are trying to hold onto wisdom in our children's lips, we should rethink the words we let them say. Perhaps we should rethink the video games and movie that are okay and not okay. Did you know that the majority of Americans will let their kids watch a Rambo movie willingly, but will freak out if people are kissing on screen or there is a touch of nudity? I'm not in favor of immature children being exposed to things too early, but there is something wrong when violence is considered more acceptable than appropriate displays of affection.
So maybe scripture should read this, and more for me as I am a new parent:
"Parents, be attentive to God's wisdom; incline your ear to God's understanding, so that you may teach prudence, and your lips may express knowledge."
Now, I'm sure it was just a mimicking of noises, as she has been actively trying to do that lately, and at 6 months I'm impressed she's doing that at all! It's also really cute to hear a 6 month old talk about anything, even poop!
As I was sharing this great joy and laughter with the staff at my church, we were in an uproar about the whole situation. One person, however, commented, "yeah...my 4 year old won't stop talking about poop, won't stop calling people poopies...and in general just loves the word poop."
"My child, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, so that you may hold on to prudence, and your lips may guard knowldge." - Proverbs 5:1-2.
To be honest, it was kind of a buzzkill, although I still think it's awesome that my 6 month old can say "poop", but it got me thinking about our kids maturing and growing up. How much of what we don't want our kids to do, do they really learn from us? How many of the words they say, that we wish they wouldn't, slip out of our lips? And the really tough question, is even if they don't hear it, how many words do we say in private that we don't want them to say at all?
I remember growing up and playing sock baseball with my dad, and I don't know why, but I said the word "fart". Now, most dads would be proud of me or not care, but I remember my dad telling me that we don't use that word. So, as a kid who loved his parents, I didn't say it. It became one of those words that wasn't acceptable to say.
Is there harm in the words "fart" or "poop"? No, they are slang words for bodily functions that are natural and help our body maintain health. The reason we don't use them in public is because in Western society it is unacceptable to talk about bodiliy functions...as though not everyone did them.
But what words do we want to teach our kids to stay away from? Is "poop" your worst fear? If you condemn the word "poop" will you have trouble with potty training?
What about the word "kill" or "hate"? I know "hate" is usually one that parents try and stear away from, but it's hard when mom and dad are watching a football game with some friends and casually say, "I just hate the Washington Redskins." Do you really hate them? No. Does your kid really hate the person they say it, mimicing you? No. Does the other person know that. No.
The way the world is now, I still laugh at a 6 month old saying poop and I'm not too concerned if she keeps saying it in public. But I would be worried about my own actions and attitudes if she started using words like "hate", "kill", "steal", "useless".
Perhaps as we are trying to hold onto wisdom in our children's lips, we should rethink the words we let them say. Perhaps we should rethink the video games and movie that are okay and not okay. Did you know that the majority of Americans will let their kids watch a Rambo movie willingly, but will freak out if people are kissing on screen or there is a touch of nudity? I'm not in favor of immature children being exposed to things too early, but there is something wrong when violence is considered more acceptable than appropriate displays of affection.
So maybe scripture should read this, and more for me as I am a new parent:
"Parents, be attentive to God's wisdom; incline your ear to God's understanding, so that you may teach prudence, and your lips may express knowledge."
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Why not give a gift the gives life this Christmas?
Alternative Gifts
“The greatest gift is a portion of oneself” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Love is, above all, the gift of oneself” – Jean Anouilh
This year, consider giving gifts that give life, rather than gather dust.
· Stonebridge UMC – Help to ensure the ministries of our congregation so that we might be ambitious in our leadership in making disciples for Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world. (www.mysumc.org)
· The Samaritan Inn – Assist those recovering from job loss, poverty, homelessness, hunger and addiction as they seek to reorder their life with affordable housing and meals. (www.thesamaritaninn.org)
· Heifer International – Give the gift of sustainable living through giving seed or animals, as well as the education needed to avoid disease and poverty. (www.heifer.org)
· ZOE Ministries – Educate AIDS-orphans in Africa on sustainable living through a gift to a work and education group. (www.zoeministry.org)
· Proyecto Abrigo – Give the gift of a house, windows or a door to a family in Juarez, Mexico. (www.proyectoabrigo.org)
· Appalachia Service Project – Help those in need of home repair, running water, education and more in the Appalachian Mountains, the poorest part of the USA. (www.asphome.org)
· Send Hope – Give the gift of dental and medical care, a house, education and more for people who live on the Moskito Coast of Honduras, one of the poorest areas in the world. (www.send-hope.org)
· Habitat for Humanity – Give the gift of affordable housing and money management education. (www.habitat.org)
· Alley’s House – help break the cycle of teen pregnancy and support those already in need. (www.alleyshouse.org)
· UNICEF – Help children in poverty around the world. (www.unicef.org)
· UMCOR – The United Methodist Church’s missional arm in the world. Use the “Advance” feature to donate to specific domestic and international ministries and relief efforts. (www.umcor.org)
“The greatest gift is a portion of oneself” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Love is, above all, the gift of oneself” – Jean Anouilh
This year, consider giving gifts that give life, rather than gather dust.
· Stonebridge UMC – Help to ensure the ministries of our congregation so that we might be ambitious in our leadership in making disciples for Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world. (www.mysumc.org)
· The Samaritan Inn – Assist those recovering from job loss, poverty, homelessness, hunger and addiction as they seek to reorder their life with affordable housing and meals. (www.thesamaritaninn.org)
· Heifer International – Give the gift of sustainable living through giving seed or animals, as well as the education needed to avoid disease and poverty. (www.heifer.org)
· ZOE Ministries – Educate AIDS-orphans in Africa on sustainable living through a gift to a work and education group. (www.zoeministry.org)
· Proyecto Abrigo – Give the gift of a house, windows or a door to a family in Juarez, Mexico. (www.proyectoabrigo.org)
· Appalachia Service Project – Help those in need of home repair, running water, education and more in the Appalachian Mountains, the poorest part of the USA. (www.asphome.org)
· Send Hope – Give the gift of dental and medical care, a house, education and more for people who live on the Moskito Coast of Honduras, one of the poorest areas in the world. (www.send-hope.org)
· Habitat for Humanity – Give the gift of affordable housing and money management education. (www.habitat.org)
· Alley’s House – help break the cycle of teen pregnancy and support those already in need. (www.alleyshouse.org)
· UNICEF – Help children in poverty around the world. (www.unicef.org)
· UMCOR – The United Methodist Church’s missional arm in the world. Use the “Advance” feature to donate to specific domestic and international ministries and relief efforts. (www.umcor.org)
Monday, November 30, 2009
Do You Know What I Know?
One of my favorite Christmas carols is "Do you Hear what I Hear", and I prefer the versions by Whitney Houston and Third Day. There is something about the passing of information from the lowliest of shepherd boys to the mighty king that I think shows the correct order of how God works. I also love the image that the good news is immediately loved and passed. If only it happened this way. As Lyndsey and I were putting up the Christmas tree and letting our baby ogle at the lights this song came on the ipod speakers and a specific phrase shouted out to me.
"A child, a child, sleeping in the night. He will bring us goodness and light."
During the season of Advent thousands of churches across the world will help to shift the focus off of "the perfect gift", "the perfect meal", "the perfect family", and all of the other misconstruals of perfection that we try and make happen around Christmas time. Seriously, at no other time in life do we try and make everything Norman Rockwellish.
I love Christmas time. I love the Advent season leading up to it. I even love the decorations, jingle bells and Santa Claus. But when family dynamics change for one day and then go back to normal the next, or when people put on their perfect face for just one day...it just seems to drive me crazy.
I think it is because I'm Methodist to the core. I believe in perfection. But for a long time I believed that I could work towards perfection and achieve it myself. This standard still haunts my ego as I continue to fail or upset others. It has only been recently that the phrase, "We don't have to be perfect, because God is." has helped to form my life. God is the one that perfects us...we simply have to learn to trust, learn to follow, learn to believe.
"A child, a child, sleeping in the night. He will bring us goodness and light."
Amazing that we're leading up to a night in which our Savior, our Messiah was born as a little baby in adverse conditions. Amazing that this little child is the one that allows God to see us as perfect and clean. Amazing that the Christ-child is the only one who brings us goodness and light.
This Advent season, enjoy putting up the lights and the tree. Go caroling sometime. Go look at other lights. Give presents that are meaningful and not just junk. And most importantly...go to church on other days besides Christmas Eve. This time of preparation is meant to set our hearts in a right place to follow the Christ-child, not to simply worship him and leave. Prepare your heart to accept goodness and light from the only true source of goodness and light.
"A child, a child, sleeping in the night. He will bring us goodness and light."
During the season of Advent thousands of churches across the world will help to shift the focus off of "the perfect gift", "the perfect meal", "the perfect family", and all of the other misconstruals of perfection that we try and make happen around Christmas time. Seriously, at no other time in life do we try and make everything Norman Rockwellish.
I love Christmas time. I love the Advent season leading up to it. I even love the decorations, jingle bells and Santa Claus. But when family dynamics change for one day and then go back to normal the next, or when people put on their perfect face for just one day...it just seems to drive me crazy.
I think it is because I'm Methodist to the core. I believe in perfection. But for a long time I believed that I could work towards perfection and achieve it myself. This standard still haunts my ego as I continue to fail or upset others. It has only been recently that the phrase, "We don't have to be perfect, because God is." has helped to form my life. God is the one that perfects us...we simply have to learn to trust, learn to follow, learn to believe.
"A child, a child, sleeping in the night. He will bring us goodness and light."
Amazing that we're leading up to a night in which our Savior, our Messiah was born as a little baby in adverse conditions. Amazing that this little child is the one that allows God to see us as perfect and clean. Amazing that the Christ-child is the only one who brings us goodness and light.
This Advent season, enjoy putting up the lights and the tree. Go caroling sometime. Go look at other lights. Give presents that are meaningful and not just junk. And most importantly...go to church on other days besides Christmas Eve. This time of preparation is meant to set our hearts in a right place to follow the Christ-child, not to simply worship him and leave. Prepare your heart to accept goodness and light from the only true source of goodness and light.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Church Giving: 101
Our church right now, as are our most churches, is going through one heck of a financial crunch in the last quarter of the year. We are already behind in our operational budget, so making it up and achieving the budget for the last quarter is a difficult task for what I suppose we can call a "struggling economy". A group of the executive lay team and pastors met the other night, and strategies were implemented to save costs (i.e., less use of the building, less accrual of money for HVAC units, etc.) and raise money. We discussed different fundraisers, but as we were discussing, we began to notice that the majority of these fundraisers would simply all be stepping on each others' toes and targeting the congregation.
What occurred to me was the thought, "does today's 'average' church member really know how to give joyfully?"
I suppose I had asked this question before when I was a youth minister in Kansas, as it seemed a quarter of my job was fundraising, after coming from a church where the youth ministry budget was so large we could buy whatever we wanted most Sunday nights. I also ask this question as someone who has given to the church for a while...but has never achieved that mysterious 10% number.
Church giving: 101...
-Giving is different than tithing.
Giving is that which you feel lead to contribute over and above your tithe. A tithe is an act of faith, trust and loyalty to God, through the avenue of the local church. It means pledging a percentage of what you earn and giving to God, because you trust that the rest will be enough and God will provide any needs. And let's be honest. I know that myself and about 50% of the population of the United States could afford to give over and above our tithes. We may not think so, because we wouldn't be able to pay the cable bill or our iPhone bill...but I suppose the question should be, "does God promise us an iPhone or cable?" Giving then becomes less about the trust and faith that God has already provided enough, but it becomes a joyful response each week or each day to the love that God has for you and you have for God. Sometimes it is the 50 cents you have in your pocket, and another time it might be more. There is no standard for what God is calling you to give.
-Giving can be done in multiple ways
There is a debate amongst church people about the appropriateness of people giving to "specific projects". I will say, that in good times, it does not matter. When the church is rolling and the pledges are being fulfilled and the giving is steady, then I believe it is absolutely okay for people to pay for items/stuff for the church or to donate to specific ministries.
However, in the situation that we have at my church we are so behind as a whole church, but still we are tempted to take a stock market approach to ministry. We are tempted to invest in ministries we think will bear fruit or ministries that are already successful. This is not giving, but investing. It's not bad, but in the situation we are in, we are looking for the church to band together and work for the good of the whole. We are looking for people to give without expectation, just to say "we love what is going on here, and trust God and you will use it to fix things."
In the situation we are in now, giving a direct donation marked for Children's, Youth, Sports, Praise Band or whatever, is essentially signing a letter to cut another part of the budget out. It also sends a message that the other ministries and staff people are not in your heart as much as the one you donated to.
This is natural, it's fine, but I don't think it's ideal. I think ideal is giving your money joyfully and trusting that it will be used in a manner worthy of the Gospel message. If you want to make sure that a certain ministry is going to thrive...volunteer your time and get involved. That's another message though.
-Giving is joyful.
As said earlier, giving isn't as planned as the pledge/tithe that you make to the church. Giving is often spontaneous, in response to need or in response to your experience with God. Seeing as God is good all the time, has already loved us more than we can ever deserve and there is always a need...giving is a constant thing. What is right though is to give joyfully, without expectation on how the money is spent and without a thought of "should I really give that much?" It would be similar to feeling called to adopt a child, but only loving them part of the time, and only if they are going to be a doctor.
I want to add a non-traditional view of giving, however. In the situation that we're in, we need money to cover staff salaries, operation costs, building loans and things that require cash, but I will posit the opinion that in the best of times giving includes those physical things to places outside the church. The church already coordinates several efforts for non-profits and gives part of it's budget to The United Methodist Church's apportionments, which includes several agencies trying to change the world. But there comes a time when everyone seems to say, well I gave to the church, they will take care of this other need, but often the church is engaged in organization and time management of people. We often do not have the monetary resources to keep these missional organizations running and stocked. I encourage most church members to tithe what they can, to give joyfully on top of that, and then find one non-profit or mission-based organization in town or around the world and give monetarily or in physical goods to that group as well. For the majority of people that I've seen do this, they realize two things: 1) they didn't need the money anyways and 2) when you give like this you often are way more content than if you spent the money on every summer blockbuster or every night at the bar.
-Last but not least, giving affects you more than the church
It's true, we get the money, but I know when I give joyfully then my spirit is so full of The Spirit that I never miss the money. Most others will tell you the same thing, whether it is time they donate or money, if it is done with no strings attached, but just in love...then I would wager that 100% of the time those people have a happier life. They feel they are engaged in something bigger than themselves, but do not have any thoughts that they are buying salvation...that would be something too large to pay. When we give freely, we begin to feel part of the healing work of Christ in the world, and that is what we are here for, it is our mission on Earth.
Have you ever taken someone out to lunch, dinner, a movie, simply because you love them? That's what giving feels like.
I hope this helps anyone who reads it.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
What if we started with grace?
During our youth group small group time on Wednesday night we were given a list of compromising or difficult situations and asked to write out what grace would look like in the situations. They included "a kid gets caught with their hand in the cookie jar" and things like "in a marriage relationship, one party says regretful and hurtful things to the other". It was interesting to think of what grace looked like, and even more interesting to hear what others thought.
One situation really grabbed my attention, however. The situation was "a student gets caught cheating on a test", and another related one was, "a student turns in a term paper late." It wasn't interesting purely because of the situation, but in how most of the students responded. The immediate responses were:
"the teacher should realize how hard it is to be a student"
"the teacher should let us get away with it"
and similar...
Every youth in the room knew that they would fail or get kicked out for cheating, and also knew that most teachers will not take late term papers, or at least give you a hefty deduction of points.
But the point that almost all of the students in this small group began commenting on how mean, rude and apathetic the teachers were struck a hard chord in my body. After all, I'm a very academic person at heart, as well as also one who believes in earning what you get, so I'm thinking immediately, "it's your fault for doing the wrong thing!" But grace doesn't always work this way does it?
I began to challenge myself that maybe grace in this situation looks like the teacher giving the student a second chance, a day extension, a new test to retake...but I couldn't get over the issue that the student completely didn't live up to the covenant with the teacher, no matter what the circumstances. So what does grace look like in the student's case?
Grace is generally thought of as something that a superior gives to an inferior, which is the way that many see God giving us grace, as something that we do not earn, but is only given. This is theologically sound, but I'm not sure the power dynamic needs to be there in human terms. It is true that a teacher has the power in the classroom ultimately, but the students hold a share when they are themselves apathetic, rude and disruptive. They then undermine a teacher's effort to educate, causing the teacher to then shut down.
So, in essence, the education system is having to deal with students who walk into a classroom with the immediate assumption that "the teacher hates me" and teachers who walk into a classroom with the immediate assumption that "the students hate me." Not a lot is going to get accomplished.
So maybe instead of "what does grace look like" we ask the question, "what does grace accomplish?" What is the end result of grace, because we need to know that if we're going to inspire people to act.
The end result of God's grace towards us is that we are able to live fully in the vision and mission of God, to be the humans that God created us to be, because of the mercy and grace given to us through the incarnation, death and resurrection of God in the person of Jesus Christ. We gain eternal life and a life with meaning in this world.
In this relationship, there is still a relationship, however. We have to accept that grace, even though it is freely given. It's not forced upon us. So when we accept it, that's when the special stuff happens.
What if we extended this to all of our relationships? What if we didn't respond with grace, but we preempted with grace like God does?
Imagine a classroom in which the teacher prepared for the first day of school with an open heart and the attitude that "no matter what, I am going to love these kids and teach my heart out for their benefit." On the other side, what if the students walked in with the attitude of "no matter what I think of this teacher, I am going to love and respect them and work as hard as I can to learn from them."
If people stayed true to this ethos, do you think people would cheat or miss an assignment? Perhaps, we're human, but I bet people would take more responsibility for it. Do you think there would be as many fights among friends or spouses? If we truly went into every encounter with every person with the assumption that I was going to treat them with the utmost love and respect, even if they don't deserve it...I wonder if we'd have to do as much reacting.
The issue of course comes from the problem of getting people to do this and keep doing it. It's hard to bring grace first, because we want people to prove themselves to us, or we want people to "earn" our trust...as though we couldn't just give it for free. We might get burned sometimes, we might get taken advantage of sometimes. But won't we be an incredible witness to the doubters, skeptics and all those who claim that Christians are more judgmental than the rest.
I'll be thinking about this for my next blog post..."can a Christian really stage a protest and not be accused of judging his/her neighbor?"
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Life lessons from the men's room
This is going to sound weird, especially since I'm writing this on a church blog, but I had a realization about conflict management in the men's restroom today.
Yes...brace yourselves.
Today I was followed into the men's room by a worker doing maintenance in the church into the men's room, where I knew that one of the urinals had broken yesterday and spewed water out onto the entire bathroom floor and almost into the hallways. My initial thoughts went straight to another half hour of John, Cindy and me with mops trying to maintain the mess. The problem came, however, when I realized that it's just not cool to talk to another man in the bathroom. It's just this weird etiquette thing that goes on...but who understands guys anyways. How was I going to make sure this guy didn't cause another waterfall that would lead to more wasted time, more damage, and more of a headache for the staff.
In this brief 5 second span I had a light go off in my head. Speaking of men's room etitquette, you are not allowed to use the urinal next to another person, unless every other one is filled up. I acted fast to grab a strategically placed urinal next to the broken one so that the man would surely use facilities two spots away from me. Success!!!
I like to count myself a creative person, but for whatever reason this simple knowledge of bizzare men's rules, I believe helped me avoid a conflict today, not necessarily between the man and I, but between me and the mop. I suppose I could have sucked up my pride and just told the man, but that would have broken "the code."
I wonder what other kind of dilemmas we could avoid with a little creative thinking. I might also, in a Wesleyan quadrilateral kind of way, call it our reason. We just finished a Sunday talking about "open minds" in our faith, how God gave us intellect for a purpose, and too often we just turn that off. Opening minds also involves compassion, and sometimes creativity. Do you think the man would have appreciated me telling him what urinal to use, despite the circumstances? I don't think he wanted me thinking about him period.
I was shown a clip of a movie, "Inherit the Wind" today by our senior pastor, who has a flash of brilliance every now and then, where Spencer Tracy's character is the prosecuter in the Scope's Monkey Trials. The jist of his argument comes down that he is not destroying The Bible or anyone's faith, but that reason can enhance one's faith and get you not only out of jams, but make your faith more valid, more inspiring and more real.
I'll never forget reading the book "The Sacred Canopy" by Peter Berger, in which for the first time I realized that not everyone thinks like me, not everyone has had the experiences I have had, and that it's really, really difficult for me to make blanket statements about God's experiences with humanity that are true for all people. But luckily there is a different urinal to guide people to. Luckily, we can be creative in our experiences and be intelligent in our evangelism to not simply go for the "yes/no, right/wrong, black/white" type of faith, but we can present a faith of thinking Christians who are not afraid of challenging each other to seek more right and more truth in God, rather than just settle on what someone has told them.
Creative reasoning seems to be a lost art, and I really feel that it would get us out of more and more situations in which someone can get hurt by the Church because we are too set in our "codes" to help people not use the broken urinal.
Yes...brace yourselves.
Today I was followed into the men's room by a worker doing maintenance in the church into the men's room, where I knew that one of the urinals had broken yesterday and spewed water out onto the entire bathroom floor and almost into the hallways. My initial thoughts went straight to another half hour of John, Cindy and me with mops trying to maintain the mess. The problem came, however, when I realized that it's just not cool to talk to another man in the bathroom. It's just this weird etiquette thing that goes on...but who understands guys anyways. How was I going to make sure this guy didn't cause another waterfall that would lead to more wasted time, more damage, and more of a headache for the staff.
In this brief 5 second span I had a light go off in my head. Speaking of men's room etitquette, you are not allowed to use the urinal next to another person, unless every other one is filled up. I acted fast to grab a strategically placed urinal next to the broken one so that the man would surely use facilities two spots away from me. Success!!!
I like to count myself a creative person, but for whatever reason this simple knowledge of bizzare men's rules, I believe helped me avoid a conflict today, not necessarily between the man and I, but between me and the mop. I suppose I could have sucked up my pride and just told the man, but that would have broken "the code."
I wonder what other kind of dilemmas we could avoid with a little creative thinking. I might also, in a Wesleyan quadrilateral kind of way, call it our reason. We just finished a Sunday talking about "open minds" in our faith, how God gave us intellect for a purpose, and too often we just turn that off. Opening minds also involves compassion, and sometimes creativity. Do you think the man would have appreciated me telling him what urinal to use, despite the circumstances? I don't think he wanted me thinking about him period.
I was shown a clip of a movie, "Inherit the Wind" today by our senior pastor, who has a flash of brilliance every now and then, where Spencer Tracy's character is the prosecuter in the Scope's Monkey Trials. The jist of his argument comes down that he is not destroying The Bible or anyone's faith, but that reason can enhance one's faith and get you not only out of jams, but make your faith more valid, more inspiring and more real.
I'll never forget reading the book "The Sacred Canopy" by Peter Berger, in which for the first time I realized that not everyone thinks like me, not everyone has had the experiences I have had, and that it's really, really difficult for me to make blanket statements about God's experiences with humanity that are true for all people. But luckily there is a different urinal to guide people to. Luckily, we can be creative in our experiences and be intelligent in our evangelism to not simply go for the "yes/no, right/wrong, black/white" type of faith, but we can present a faith of thinking Christians who are not afraid of challenging each other to seek more right and more truth in God, rather than just settle on what someone has told them.
Creative reasoning seems to be a lost art, and I really feel that it would get us out of more and more situations in which someone can get hurt by the Church because we are too set in our "codes" to help people not use the broken urinal.
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