I joked with The Bridge congregation at Stonebridge UMC this past Sunday that I would blog about how to make the whole church mad at me, after I had rolled off a few purposefully stereotypical assumptions about a few universities and their supporters. I believe I called OU "hillbilly hicks" (which is very intelligent sounding in itself), and UT "liberal, hippy weirdos." Ironically, I hadn't planned that part...it just came natural. I did manage to not bash TCU at all....I wonder why?
But in the joke, I began to wonder what the top ways to make an entire congregation upset with me would be. You might think this is easy, but in all reality there is such a wide variety of people in most churches that one ethnic slur might make some happy and others outraged. One cuss word might make one person more inclined to come and others offended. So here's the list I came up with (in no particular order):
(Blogger note :: Please come into this with a sense of humor and the ability to laugh at ourselves, otherwise, please don't read. I'm making fun of myself more than anyone.)
10) Renounce Jesus Christ. I typically think in a Christian community this is generally a bad move to hold Jesus to no importance or value. When you take the lynch pin out of the whole faith, it's generally hard to keep people. This was the freebie for my mind.
9) Say something about nakedness, nudity or sexual relations. At least in the United States people want to think about, talk about and participate in these three things every place but church. I had to laugh when I was working at one church and was hanging out with chaperones on a youth outing on Saturday night where they were making many, many jokes about beer, sex and other "vices", and when I sat next to them on Sunday morning they were concerned about the use of the word nude when talking about Adam and Eve. My how sanctuaries stifle us.
8) Bring to light all of the Bible passages that are not happy. Tamar, Sodom, even the Noah story or Jesus killing a fig tree. They don't make VeggieTales about these, so they are not in the Bible obviously. I joke about this a little, but it's true, don't make the Bible a book full of humans...it'll only go down-hill.
(Exception :: for those people who really think church is too high and mighty this is actually a great evangelism strategy. Imagine a book full of real people trying to come to life with a real God. Revolutionary.)
7) Misspell the matriarch's name in the church bulletin. Not everyone will be mad at you, but no one will have the guts to defend you. Proof-read.
6) Buy a car that is more expensive than what your church members drive. Not that you need a really expensive car to be a pastor, but people talk in churches. Obviously if you are driving a hybrid BMW with leather seats and optional conversion to F-15 fighter jet...then they are paying you too much and not focusing enough money into missions, curriculum and tapestries. Most people in America get outraged when people are paid too much. Of course, this doesn't include all professional sports or congress.
5) Live a double life. You'd be amazed at how forgiving people can be (see Ted Haggard's church), but this tends to get anyone angry at you. When you tell people to give, pray, love, not judge, etc., etc., and you like to not give, not pray, drink, glutton, take drugs, commit adultery, etc., etc. people don't really enjoy your preaching anymore.
4) Talk bad about orphans and widows. Surely you won't do this if you've read the Bible, they're the two groups that Paul loves the most. Which is why, if you talk bad about orphans and widows, you will not be popular.
3) Change something. Now I will tell you that I'm in a great situation that enjoys new and different, but most churches will snap on you in an instant if "Here I Am" is not the last song played in worship or you don't continue the lock-in the day after Thanksgiving because you dared to take vacation. For some reason the dyanamic movement of Christianity has become immersed in the notion that 11:00 is the absolute time for true worship and the songs that we sing and the decorations on the wall are more important than the people that come in.
(Note :: I will say this is cynical, but probably true. I am fortunate to have a supportive congregation that likes to renew itself, but many churches want to do the same stuff year in and year out. No wonder people get tired of it.)
2) Mention or spell the word money. This isn't a one time and done thing that will ignite everyone, but you can sense the collective groan throughout the congregation when it's stewardship time. Even though it's supposed to be "joyful" giving, sometimes I imagine people would be more willing to sign up for toilet cleaning duty than joyfully give. Others give because they know they need to, but I dare you to talk about money more than once a year.
(Note :: I have talked about money more than once this year and it's not stewardship time, either it's not as bad as I thought or people just don't listen to the sermons...hmmm)
And the number one way to make everyone in the church mad at you....
1) Don't do anything. Seriously. If you change the pews or the worship times...some people will come back. If you line up controversial lesson plans and sermons...some people will be challenged and love it. If you do any of the dangerous things, some people will love them. But there are plenty of churches that die because they don't stand for anything. They are not active in the community, they don't care about world events, they don't really even care about God that much anymore. There are pastors who have more interest in their pension fund and golf score than the depth of worship, and a lot of us may slip in and out. The one way I've found for pastors to make a church die and upset is to literally have no mission, nothing to stand for, and no reason for being.
I suppose all this is to say that no entire church will ever totally love one pastor...but it is the ones that dare to dream big, the ones who choose to ruffle some feathers, and the ones who pay attention to the needs of the congregation and love them...that will be loved the most. Here's prayers to not making your whole church mad...maybe just a part of it.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Are We Shooting Our Churches in the Foot?
Are We Shooting Our Churches in the Foot?
I’m not sure what my reaction would be to a gunshot wound, but I’m pretty certain it wouldn’t be appropriate for young children. In fact, I might be even too stunned to speak. And for anyone getting any ideas out there, this is not an invitation to see what the results would be…thanks.
However, there is a movement in the church today that just might be what we’re looking for in order to be relevant, but it also just might be what ends up killing off more church families. The movement I speak of is most commonly called “social networking”. The use of Twitter, Facebook and MySpace by church communities has exploded in recent years, I, myself, being one of those users. I have enjoyed engaging theologians through Twitter and actually having church members help pick and write sermons with me through Facebook. What’s wrong with connection?
In fact, being a United Methodist pastor, I really am all about connection and have really enjoyed using Facebook during work to stay connected with churches past and present, as well as ministry colleagues. However, I received an article on my desk from a member just a couple of days ago about the growing use of Twitter in worship services, both the good and the bad sides.
Twittering worship services has gotten some church communities a lot of press recently and made them “hip” in the eyes of unchurched teenagers who want a place that speaks their language. The idea behind the church tweets is the expansion of the worship service to the whole world. Anyone can now get the message of the sermon and experience in a small portion the teaching of God’s Word. This also occurs through applications and status updates on Facebook, and in fact, it has never been so easy to reach so many people with the Word of God then in the present day.
But at what cost?
I shared with a friend of mine about my infatuation with Lifechurch.tv and their online worship experiences. I don’t necessarily think they are the greatest speakers in the world, but I’m fascinated with the idea of reaching as many people for Christ where they are…on the world wide web. I have this dream of 10 different people watching our service in a completely other state and finding a way to hook those people up in an actual community together. But my friend was less optimistic.
How would they receive communion?
How would they receive baptism?
Would they even know how to talk to anyone else face to face?
Is there really a community of trust and love if you never see the other people?
We might be shooting ourselves in the foot. When we tell people to engage in church electronically are we saying the same things as Amazon.com and online shopping? “Don’t bother to come, we’ll make it easier on you. Just tune in to Twitter and get the 140-character sound byte.” It’ll almost be as though CNN took over sermons. We’ll have sermons that are 2 sentences long to explain a scripture passage that is 2 pages long. Already, I can hear the masses getting excited…shorter lines at restaurants at 10:15 than at 10:45.
I’m nervous about the amount that churches are attempting to push people online, despite my growing interest in engaging in it. I wonder if we can truly say that you’re engaging in the Body of Christ if you never partake of the same loaf together. I wonder if we can initiate you into the Body of Christ, if you never see the faces, or feel the touches of those you are to be in a family with. I also doubt the effectiveness of a wonderful text message verses a passionate one on one conversation. There is a reason that people move from e-harmony.com to actually sitting with each other in a restaurant.
I hope that we can truly utilize modern technology to the glory of God’s Kingdom, but I also hope that by trying to ride the wave of change that we do not change too much into a Body of Christ that never quite joins together. Imagine the destruction that could happen if we can’t come together to build a Habitat for Humanity house because we just never get together. Imagine the loss of community that comes from never holding hands as you pray (sorry, emoticons and cute parenthesis use won’t cut it).
May God use all of humanity’s creations for the glory of God’s will and let us join in that movement, and let us more importantly not get in the way.
I’m not sure what my reaction would be to a gunshot wound, but I’m pretty certain it wouldn’t be appropriate for young children. In fact, I might be even too stunned to speak. And for anyone getting any ideas out there, this is not an invitation to see what the results would be…thanks.
However, there is a movement in the church today that just might be what we’re looking for in order to be relevant, but it also just might be what ends up killing off more church families. The movement I speak of is most commonly called “social networking”. The use of Twitter, Facebook and MySpace by church communities has exploded in recent years, I, myself, being one of those users. I have enjoyed engaging theologians through Twitter and actually having church members help pick and write sermons with me through Facebook. What’s wrong with connection?
In fact, being a United Methodist pastor, I really am all about connection and have really enjoyed using Facebook during work to stay connected with churches past and present, as well as ministry colleagues. However, I received an article on my desk from a member just a couple of days ago about the growing use of Twitter in worship services, both the good and the bad sides.
Twittering worship services has gotten some church communities a lot of press recently and made them “hip” in the eyes of unchurched teenagers who want a place that speaks their language. The idea behind the church tweets is the expansion of the worship service to the whole world. Anyone can now get the message of the sermon and experience in a small portion the teaching of God’s Word. This also occurs through applications and status updates on Facebook, and in fact, it has never been so easy to reach so many people with the Word of God then in the present day.
But at what cost?
I shared with a friend of mine about my infatuation with Lifechurch.tv and their online worship experiences. I don’t necessarily think they are the greatest speakers in the world, but I’m fascinated with the idea of reaching as many people for Christ where they are…on the world wide web. I have this dream of 10 different people watching our service in a completely other state and finding a way to hook those people up in an actual community together. But my friend was less optimistic.
How would they receive communion?
How would they receive baptism?
Would they even know how to talk to anyone else face to face?
Is there really a community of trust and love if you never see the other people?
We might be shooting ourselves in the foot. When we tell people to engage in church electronically are we saying the same things as Amazon.com and online shopping? “Don’t bother to come, we’ll make it easier on you. Just tune in to Twitter and get the 140-character sound byte.” It’ll almost be as though CNN took over sermons. We’ll have sermons that are 2 sentences long to explain a scripture passage that is 2 pages long. Already, I can hear the masses getting excited…shorter lines at restaurants at 10:15 than at 10:45.
I’m nervous about the amount that churches are attempting to push people online, despite my growing interest in engaging in it. I wonder if we can truly say that you’re engaging in the Body of Christ if you never partake of the same loaf together. I wonder if we can initiate you into the Body of Christ, if you never see the faces, or feel the touches of those you are to be in a family with. I also doubt the effectiveness of a wonderful text message verses a passionate one on one conversation. There is a reason that people move from e-harmony.com to actually sitting with each other in a restaurant.
I hope that we can truly utilize modern technology to the glory of God’s Kingdom, but I also hope that by trying to ride the wave of change that we do not change too much into a Body of Christ that never quite joins together. Imagine the destruction that could happen if we can’t come together to build a Habitat for Humanity house because we just never get together. Imagine the loss of community that comes from never holding hands as you pray (sorry, emoticons and cute parenthesis use won’t cut it).
May God use all of humanity’s creations for the glory of God’s will and let us join in that movement, and let us more importantly not get in the way.
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